so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
