Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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