apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
