Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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