is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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