I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
