just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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