Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
