There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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