He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
