Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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