i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
