thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
