Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
