Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
