why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
