I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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