dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
