Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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