he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
