come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
