The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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