I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
