your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize