in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
