I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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