when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
