I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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