thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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