thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I just threw up on my dentist
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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