So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
