love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
