I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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