I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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