I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think my moral compass just broke
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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