he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
