One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
