Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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