my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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