he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize