I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
