Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
