Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize