bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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