Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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