my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just high enough for therapy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
