I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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