He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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