Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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