so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
