No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
