And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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