So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
