Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
