in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
