I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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