For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
