Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
