I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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