After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
tell me about the eggs
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
