Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just had sex bonerless
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
