you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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