As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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