Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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